Confessions of a Film Junkie: A review of “Girls Gone Dead”
By: Brian Cotnoir
Holy Shnikes! The film I’ve decided to review this week is so bad that it makes “ThanksKILLING” look like “The Artist”. You see there’s a fine line between stretching the truths of reality and full on jumping the shark. Though, I should have realized that this film was going to be a huge heaping pile of pig excrement when I saw that the two biggest and most notable stars in your film are BeetleJuice and Porn Legend Ron Jeremy. Brace yourselves, the film I’ve chosen to review for this week is “Girls Gone Dead”.
|This Film is 31 Flavors of Fail (and they're all terrible)|
This Film is pretty much a spoof of the movie “Piranha” (with a subtle twist of “Carrie” and “Halloween” added to the mix). Only problem with this is that “Piranha” was already a spoof of another movie, and making a film a spoof of a film that was already a spoof is just stupid! Not to mention really lazy. All of the jokes and pop-culture references aren’t funny and they don’t make any sense.
I’ll break it down to you like this: This summer I watched a movie on SyFy channel called “Jersey Shore Shark Attack”. All it was, was the movie “Jaws” set in New Jersey with a bunch of actors who were pretending to be the cast of the MTV show “Jersey Shore”. “Jersey Shore Shark Attack” was funny because it was making fun of “Jaws” and “Jersey Shore”. Compare that to “Girls Gone Dead” where they were making fun of “Girls Gone Wild”. The big problem with that is nobody outside of College Frat Boys likes, or even watches, Girls Gone Wild. At least with the “Jersey Shore” there are people who like the show and will defend it against people who say it’s a “stupid” or “bad” show, but not “Girls Gone Wild”. You will never hear anyone refer to “Girls Gone Wild” as quality entertainment.
|This Girl is a Horrible Actress (emphasis on the 1st syllable)|
|Oh Yeah, Professional|
Wrestler Jerry "The
King" Lawler is in it to