Confessions of a Film Junkie: A review of “Batman Forever”
By: Brian Cotnoir
In the mid-1990’s Warner Brothers Studios decided to take their Batman film franchise in a different direction. The first two Batman films, based off the popular DC Comic book hero, were “Batman” & “Batman Returns” were made in the early 1990’s and were directed by Tim Burton. The Burton” Batman” films were successful and were just as much for adults as they were for films, but the studio thought the films could be more financially successful and kid friendly, so Burton was replaced by another director, Joel Schumacher. Even though Burton was no longer the director of the film he still served the studio as a Producer for the film and also a consultant, but still this movie was terrible compared to earlier “Batman” films. “Batman Forever” reminds me more of the old Adam West “Batman Television Series” rather than a movie. I also think it’s very sad that the films soundtrack one more awards then the actual film itself. I mean “Batman the Animated Series” was more adult and edgy compared to this piece of shit movie!
Not only was a new director assigned for “Batman Forever”, but the studio also cast a new “Batman”, Val Kilmer. “Batman Forever” featured a ton of big name actors such as Jim Carrey, Tommy Lee Jones, Drew Barrymore, Chris O’Donnell, and Drew Barrymore. All of these actors are fucking terrible in this movie! Actress Nicole Kidman plays Dr. Chase Meridian in the film, or as I like to refer to her as the films obvious whore; Drew Barrymore’s character is pretty much the same thing, but she gets a lot less screen time compared to Kidman. Tommy Lee Jones portrayal of Havery Dent (aka Two-Face) is not scary in the least bit; he’s just fucking stupid and annoying! And speaking of stupid and annoying why is it that every time Chris O’Donnell speaks in this film it feels like he’s fucking you in the ears! Chris O’Donnell as Robin in “Batman Forever” (And later “Batman & Robin) is one of the worst fucking casting decisions in the history of film. And then we have actor Michael Gough who plays Bruce Wayne/ Batman’s faithful butler Albert Pennyworth. Gough’s character serves the purpose of providing background noise for the movie; his role is abso-FUCKING-lutley pointless! I don’t even know why they even bothered to write in lines for Alfred.
The only redeemable part of this film is Val Kilmer’s portrayal of Bruce Wayne/Batman. Kilmer’s portrayal reminded me a lot of Michael Keaton’s Batman portrayal, which I thought was excellent. Unfortunately for Val Kilmer his acting was far too serious for a movie this fucking stupid, which is a shame because he did a really great job with this role; he was just the victim of being a good actor in a film with a terrible script and no help from his supporting actors. Jim Carrey’s acting wasn’t all that bad either but only when he was playing the Riddler’s true identity, Edward Nygma. When Carrey is on screen as Edward Nygma he’s mildly funny, but when he’s on screen as the Riddler he’s fucking annoying and makes you envy Helen Keller. Jim Carrey as the Riddler looks like the bastard off-spring of a three way between Pee-Wee Herman, Elton John, and Lady Gaga.
My final opinion on this film is that it fucking sucks! The only people who would ever enjoy this movie are kids under the age of 10 because there are enough flashing lights and corny-one liners to keep them entertained. So if you know a child under ten (or a person who recently underwent a full-frontal lobotomy!) let them watch “Batman Forever”, otherwise avoid it at all costs.