A review of "Darkroom"

Confessions of a Film Junkie: A review of “Dark Room”

By: Brian Cotnoir

     Is it just me or are low-budget Horror films getting lazier and lazier? Are film studios even trying anymore?  I mean, what is the point of going through all the work of setting a shooting schedule, hiring actors, not to mention all the work that goes into designing the DVD cover and marketing the film on Netflix, if you’re not even going to put in any effort?  Let’s use the film I’m reviewing today, “Darkroom” as the case-in-point.          

“Darkroom” was released in 2013 and is the story of a young girl named Michelle (played by actress Kaylee DeFer) as she works towards her ultimate goal of leaving the rehab facility where she was sent to after she was involved in a drunk driving accident that killed her boyfriend and her two friends.  Upon being released from the facility Michelle get’s a small modeling gig in town (yeah, apparently she was a model before she went to rehab, but I digress).  So Michelle goes to the modeling job at his huge mansion that turns out to be an elaborate cover for a trio of siblings (led by the director the rehab center where Michelle was staying) to re-enact scenes from the film “Hostel” in order to “purge” the bad sinners of the world.                      

She doesnt look very invested in this role

   The first problem, I have with the film is this:  The plot is so freaking inconsistent!  I swear the person editing this film must have been a 7-year-old boy with severe ADHD and the attention span the size of a gnat because the plot is all over the place.  When every other scene is a flashback, you are not telling a good story, you are a just confusing your audience!  One flash back in your film is fine, two is okay, three is pushing it.  Don’t do it every other scene!  It really makes it difficult to establish things like plot in character when you have no idea what the hell is going on in the film.  I’m really not a fan of telling a story in a film like this, because it is so easy for the audience to get confused.           

   Let’s look at the motivation of our films villains.  They were horrifically abused by their psychotic mother...that’s it.  At some point while trying to escape through the mansion Michelle comes across a video tape of her three captors as young children being beaten, burned, maimed, and abused by their mother.  In the video the mother claims she is doing this because her children are “sinners”, but she is over-the-top with her abuse that it’s just not believable.  This lady makes the mom from “Carrie” look June Cleaver, she is that cruel.  Besides that, who the hell keeps a videotape of them self abusing their children?  What if the police got a hold of that tape, huh?  That’s evidence you dumb b!tch!.  I would have much preferred one of her captors telling the story of the abuse rather then something stupid like Michelle stumbling across a videotape.          

Foreshadowing!

Actress Kaylee DeFer isn’t terrible in this film, but the character she’s playing is.  There is nothing likeable about Michelle.  She’s not a strong character; she’s not a likeable character.  In fact, the only character in this film who is more detestable then her is the youngest of the three villains, Daniel.  Daniel is loud, he’s whiny, he’s pathetic, and I can’t tell if actor Tobias Segal was trying to portray him as being—shall we say—a little slow, or if he’s really just that bad of an actor.                                                   

    If I were to classify “Darkroom” in a genre of films, I would put it under the “Skip Entirely” section.  It’s a garbage film, and is simply too bad a film to be watched by human eyes.  Don’t even bother wasting your time with it folks.  You have much better things you can do with your life then watch “Darkroom”.