Tuesday, December 15, 2015

The 5 Strangest Films I've reviewed (so far)

Confessions of a Film Junkie: The 5 Strangest Films I’ve reviewed (so far)

By: Brian Cotnoir

*Gasp* have I actually prepared a written review for you all?!  Indeed I have!  I will admit that this year I have been selfishly lazy in my weekly reviews.  I think I have more fingers than written reviews this year, but I’m hoping to have a nice balance of written and video reviews for next year so here’s hoping I can keep that promise.  So without further delay, let me get into this week’s review:  I’ve reviewed good films, I’ve reviewed bad films, I’ve reviewed “meh” films, and I’ve reviewed films that make me go “What the f*ck did I just watch?!”.  It is the latter of these films that I have chosen to discuss today, I mean I have seen some strange and peculiar movies and today I’m going to countdown the Top 5 Strangest Films I’ve reviewed (so far).

5.) Cool World

Just be glad you had a career after this one, Brad
One of the first films I ever reviewed.  This half-animation, half-live action cinne-massacre from animation legend, Ralph Bakshi was so frustratingly bizarre that it caused me to go an angry three page rant as into why I hated it so much.  This film is a sloppy mess, with cheesy characters, weird animation, and honestly doesn’t know whether or not it wants to be a film for adults or a film for kids.  I think the strangest thing about this film is that it stars Brad Pitt (before he was ever famous).  The film does have a simple plot, but it’s hard to focus on the plot when there is so much nonsensical anarchy occurring on screen.  Practically, ever second on screen there is something shouting, or making noise, or blowing up, and it can become very frustrating at points.

4.) The Coed and the Zombie Stoner

From the same studio that brought us the “Sharknado” films, The Asylums “The Coed and the Zombie Stoner” is an absolutely ridiculous film!  It’s a film about a college student who tries to pass a zombie off as her boyfriend to avoid being kicked out of her sorority (...I honestly, don’t know why she’d be kicked out of a sorority for being single, it makes no sense to me whatsoever).   This film contains so much full-frontal nudity that it makes softcore porn look tame.  As awkward, poorly written, and terribly produced as this film is, I must admit that “The Coed and the Zombie Stoner” is probably the one film from The Asylum that I actually (kind of) enjoy.  Perhaps, you may see me talk about it in another article (Maybe I’ll do a Top 5 Best/Worst films from The Asylum list).

3.) If...

Even the movie poster doest know
what the film is actually about!!!!
I only saw this 1968 Counterculture Cult Classic because it starred Malcolm McDowell, and I still stand by my sentiments: What the f*ck did I just watch? I mean, I can understand why lots of people enjoy it, but to me this film is so...weird.  The films primary plot focuses on life at a British Boarding School in the late 1960’s and are hero Mick Travis (McDowell) and his friends Wallace and Johnny, who are always in trouble because they refuse to conform to the schools strict and outdated policies, but their a ton of random and bizarre scenes, and for some reason or another the film is partly done in black and white and part done in color, and I couldn’t figure out why.  I’ve read some articles where it says that films director Lindsay Anderson shot the film this way for artistic reasons, but yet I still stick with my original theory that they ran out of money for color film, and had to resort to using black and white film to finish the film.  As I look back on it today, I don’t think “If...” is as bad as I once previously stated; it definitely has its own merits, and it’s also the film that launched the career of one of my Favorite Actors.

2.) The Black Klansman

Yep, you read that title correctly.  There is actually a film from 1966 about a black man who infiltrates the Ku Klux Klan by posing as a white man.  As bizarre as this film sounds, it’s actually well-made and I think it should be appreciated for the time it was made and the cultural significance of the times. 

Told You It's Real!

1.) The Strange Color of Your Bodies Tears

Since reviewing this Belgian Thriller this summer, I have watched it two more times...and I still have no clue what it is about?  That is the truth:  I have no clue what this movie is about, I don’t know the plot, I only remember the names of one of the characters, and...yeah, that’s about it.  This is one of those films that will destroy you mentally, but the cinematography in “The Strange Color of Your Bodies Tears” is enough to make you endure this film, it is absolutely stunning! 

1 comment:

  1. Well done sir, after this I would strongly hesitate before watching any of these films...at least while sober..