Tuesday, July 2, 2013

My 5 Favorite Movie Kills

Confessions of a Film Junkie: My 5 Favorite Movie Kills

By: Brian Cotnoir

     Film and cinema has been around for over one-hundred years, and in that time Hollywood studios have pretty much run out of creative ways to kill people in their films.  We’ve seen guns, explosives, chainsaws, knives, swords, hands, animals, everyday objects, and Odin knows what else used to kill people in films, but cinema still has produced some creative kill.  This list is here to name My Personal 5 Favorite Movie Kill. Now just to clarify this isn’t the “5 BEST Movie Kills of All-Time” these are all my Personal Picks, so I’ know I’m probably going to leave off some obvious movie kills on this list, but please don’t tell me that I forgot about this movie kill or that movie kill, because these are my personal favorites.  Thanks and Enjoy!

#5- Curb Stomping (American History X)

When I was in High School “American History X” was my favorite film, and one of the best aspects of the film is from the opening scene.  For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, “American History X” is the story of a young Neo-Nazi named Danny Vinyard—played by Terminator 2 star Edward Furlong—and he is forced by his high school principal to write an essay on his brother Derek’s imprisonment for a racially motivated murder.  Years ago Danny was woken up in the middle of the night after hearing a group of young gang-bangers trying to break in and steal his older brother’s truck.  When Danny informs his older brother Derek—played by actor Edward Norton—he goes into a homicidal rampage and shoots one of the thugs point blank killing him instantly.  Derek manages to shoot another one of the gang-bangers in the leg leaving him immobile.  In a racially motivated rage, Derek drags the injured gang-banger to the sidewalk and tells him to bite down on the sidewalk.  He then stomps at the back of the thug’s skull; killing him.  What else is there to say about this kill, other than “Say Good night!”.


#4- Dragged to Hell (Drag Me to Hell)

This one comes from a Horror film that I feel is definitely under appreciated.  I mean it’s a pretty scary premise: you piss off or “shame” a gypsy and they put a curse on you that causes all of these horrible things to happen to you, and then at the end of it all you get dragged straight to hell.  Personally I felt the opening scene where the young boy got dragged to hell was more scary, then when Christine got dragged to hell, but either way it’s looks freaky as all hell to see someone you care about get dragged to hell, and there’s nothing much you can do.


#3- “Dogs get put down” (The Watchmen)

Love it!
So in this kill Walter Kovacs (aka Rorschach) is telling a therapist about the time he caught a kidnapper who raped and murdered a girl, and then fed her remains to his dogs.  Rorschach kills the man’s dogs and has him in the corner. The man admits he killed the girl and begs Rorschach to take him to prison, but Rorschach doesn’t feel that will be necessary.  He looks the sobbing criminal in the eye and tells him “Men get arrested; dog’s get put down”, and then he proceeds to hack the man’s face with a large butcher’s knife.  This is how we learned of Rorschach changing over from a vigilante crime fighter to a super hero with a never ending quest for blood and vengeance.

#2- Death by typewriter (Repo Men)

One of these things is not like the other.
One of these things is a total rip off!!!!!!
     Let me just start off by saying that “Repo Men” is not a good movie.  It is a complete rip off of Terrance Zdunich’s “Repo: the Genetic Opera” and to be honest it doesn’t even deserved to be mentioned in the same sentence as “Repo: the Genetic Opera”.  So why did I put this kill so high up on my list?  Because it has probably the funniest death I’ve ever seen on film (and probably the films only redeemable part).  So Jude Law’s character and this woman are being chased by two Repo Men through an abandoned building when one of the Repo Men is about to shoot one of them, when a type writer comes flying out of know where and squishes his head.  When I saw this scene for the first time I laughed hysterically for almost five minutes, I found it to be that funny.  This film may be a total rip-off of another—much better—film, but it still gets my vote for having the funniest kill of all-time.

#1- The Glory Hole (Hobo with a Shotgun)

The Lamb being led to the slaughter!
     How awesome is “Hobo with a Shotgun”?  I mean you’ve got Rutger Hauer playing a hobo who goes around with a shotgun, righting wrongs in a corrupt town run by a ruthless crime boss known as “The Drake”.  This film doesn’t just have one creative kill, it has many!  You’ve got a guy getting his head crushed between two bumper-cars, you’ve got a guy getting cut to shreds by a baseball bat covered in razor blades, you’ve got a school bus full of kids being torched by flame thrower, you’ve got a guy getting his d!ck blown off with a shotgun.  Not to mention the bad-a$$-ness that is “The Plague”, but I think the most iconic kill from “Hobo with a Shotgun” has got to be The Glory Hole; a public execution that requires a person to have a hinged man hole cover placed around their neck and be dropped into an empty sewer hole.  The more time you spend in the glory hole the less blood circulation that travels to the rest of your body.  Then after all that pain and anguish you have a barbed wire noose placed over your head and tied to the bumper of a car, as it the driver slams the accelerator and decapitates your head from the rest of your body.  This is a creative kill that strike fear into all that see it.  This film is more than deserving of holding the title of “Most Creative Kill(s) in Film”.

This was a good Kill Too!

Most of these are pretty funny too

The Drake was an awesome villain too


UPCOMING REVIEWS
·         July 11th- “Re-Animator”
·         July 18th- “Stakeland”
·         July 25th- “The Black Klansman”

·         August 1st- A Retrospect on “Antichrist” (New Segment J)

3 comments:

  1. I really wish I didn't read this list after lunch. Well written, but dear God why did I approve of this?!

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    Replies
    1. HA! HA! HA! Maybe it's because you were curious as to where my inspiration comes from when you ask me for a "Creative way" to kill off one of your characters in your screen plays?

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  2. Well played, Film Junkie, well played

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