Saturday, March 2, 2013

5 Actual Confessions of a Film Junkie

Confessions of a Film Junkie: “5 Actual Confessions of a Film Junkie”
By: Brian Cotnoir

It's Me; The Film Junkie
So I’ve been writing for this blog for quite some time now, and really not much has changed; Each week I post a review of what film psychologically damaged me the most that week and you sadists read it and take pleasure in my torment.  I’m only kidding of course.  This blog would not be where it is today without you—my loyal readers—to keep me going, and I thank you all.  But still, the premise to my blog is pretty basic.  I review an awful movie and go of an angry and detailed rant on why I hated it.  Occasionally, I have been known to review and recommend good movies as well, but those are really more of my own opinions rather than an actual “confessions” so this week I decided to share with you all some of my personal experiences from watching films and let you know some of the hidden truths behind this blog.  I’ve listed them in no particular order and I hope you all enjoy them.  Thanks
Brian (“The Film Junkie”) \m/

1.)    I don’t think “The Godfather” is as good as people say it is.

This one surprises a lot of people when I tell them, but it’s true I don’t think “The Godfather” is as good as people say it is.  And I just want to clarify, I don’t hate “The Godfather” or think it’s a bad movie, I just think it’s a little bit overrated.  I’ve heard it referred to as the “Perfect Movie” or the “Best Movie of All-Time”, but I don’t really think it’s that great.  I saw this film for the first time when I was 15-years-old with my grandfather, and I was pretty excited to see if it lived up to all the hype, and I didn’t like it.  I remember thinking to myself that I was probably too young to understand it, and that when I was older I would probably really like it.  My Freshman year of college my suite mates said they were having a “Godfather” movie watching party, so once again I got all hyped up, I sat through the whole thing and I still didn’t like it.  This past summer on one of my days off, I sat down in my living room and watched all three “Godfather” movies in one day.  I had never seen any of the sequels before then, and you know what seeing the sequels actually helped me enjoy “The Godfather”.  I LOVE “The Godfather Part II”! “The Godfather Part II” is everything to me that the original “Godfather” film is to everyone else.  Again, “The Godfather” is not a bad film; I just think “Part II” is way better and more enjoyable.  My ranking of the Godfather films goes Part II, the Original, and then Part III.

2.)    “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” is the only movie that’s ever made me cry.

This is one of those things that even baffles myself.  I have never been, nor do I consider myself, a fan of “Star Trek”.  I’ve seen a few episodes of the “Original Star Trek” series and “The Next Generation”, but I never really watched the show(s) seriously or with that much interest, so as you can imagine I was surprised to find myself crying at the end of “Star Trek II” when Spock died. This is not the saddest movie I’ve ever seen, or the only sad movie I have ever sat through, this is the only film that’s made me cry more than once.  I can remember a couple tears running down my cheeks after I saw “Brian’s Song” for the first time—it is IMPOSSIBLE for any man to see that film and not get a little bit teary eyed—and my eyes did start to water a little bit during the climax of the documentary “Dear Zachary”, but “Star Trek II” is the only film that’s ever made me shed tears, have snot running out of my nose, and everything else.  I’ve seen this film three times in my life and each time when Spock dies and Captain Kirk gives his eulogy, and they send him off while Scottie plays “Amazing Grace” on the bagpipes it get’s me going every time.

3.)    To this day there are only two films that I’ve sat through and written reviews for that I refuse to post on my blog.

When I first started this blog there were a number of different films that I “swore off”—insisting that I would never watch or review them—but as time went on, I saw most of those films and if you can sit through films like “Cannibal Holocaust”, “A Serbian Film”, and “Antichrist” in just one sitting, you’re practically immune to ever being afraid of sitting through a movie.  When I watch a film for the first time I take notes while watching the film and after I look at the notes I compiled and then I decide on whether or not I have enough material to write a decent review.  There’s maybe been about a dozen films that I’ve watched for this blog that I haven’t written a review for, and it’s mostly due to the fact that I believed I didn’t have enough material or critiques to write a decent review.  To this day, however, I’ve only written two reviews for films that I’ve watched, and I decided that it was in the best interest of not only myself, but the well being of this blog, and the readers of my blog to not post them.  You’re all going to hate me for this next part, but I will not tell you the titles of these two films, not because the films were bad--they were both really good--but I do believe that each films content should only be seen by certain audiences and I would not want some of my younger readers to look up these films and watch them on their own. I will tell you this much, one was a horror film, and the other was a drama, and the reason why I decided I couldn’t post them because they dealt with some “sensitive material and issues”, and I personally felt like I was not the most qualified or professional person to discuss the films subject matters.  I can also tell you, I was going to post the horror review and two days before I was going to do so, something tragic happened, and this event was very similar to the plot I was going to review, and without hesitation I decided not to publish the post, and wrote another film review to take its place.

4.)    The Best and Worst Acting Performances I have ever seen in film.

Anthony Perkins as "Norman Bates"
Best Acting Performance by Male: Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates in “Psycho”.  I love this movie; this is hands down one of my favorite horror films, and I think a large reason of why I like it so much is the acting performance give by Anthony Perkins.  True, by today’s standards the film isn’t all that scary and the ending isn’t all that shocking; hell even I accurately predicted the ending to the film the first time I saw it, but my gosh Anthony Perkin’s is fantastic in this film.  His character was largely influenced by American Serial Killer Ed Gein, and for the time this film was made, this was not an easy role to play.  Anthony Perkins is playing a psychotic murderer, who struggles to hide behind the mask of sanity in the company of other people.  His monologues in the film are fantastic and they’ll just send a chill through your spine, and for those of you wondering if I’ve seen the “remake” of the film, my answer is no, and I don’t ever plan on seeing it.  Why? Because I think the remake of “Psycho” will make me want to go “Psycho” on a few actors and film crews.

Sigourney Weaver in "Snow Cake
Best Acting Performance by a Female: Sigourney Weaver as Linda Freeman in “Snow Cake”.  Not many people have heard of this film.  To be perfectly honest, when one of my friends tried to get me watch it I was thinking up excuses in my mind as to why I didn’t want to watch it.  I thought the movie was going to suck, but it was awesome.  Sigourney Weaver’s character is autistic and her daughter is killed in a car crash, and the driver of the car her daughter was in (played by Alan Rickman) stays with Sigourney Weaver’s character to help arrange her daughters funeral and help her adjust to now having to be on her own.  The way Sigourney Weaver Plays her character in the film is perfect.  She’s not over-the-top, she isn’t dumbing down her character, her performance is actually pretty believable.  If you really want to see why Sigourney Weaver is great in this film, then see “Snow Cake”.

Seth Green (L) & Macaulay Culkin (R)! WTF?!?!?!
WORST ACTING PERFOMANCE: Macaulay Culkin & Seth Green in “Party Monster”.  Again, just to clarify: when I say this is the worst acting performance I’ve seen, I’m not talking about some unknown actor/actress who was in low budget, straight to video crap fest made in the 1970’s-1980’s.  I am talking about the worst acting performance I’ve seen done by professional and credible actors, and Macaulay Culkin & Seth Green in the early 2000’s film “Party Monsters” is the worst I’ve seen.  You know how “Bros” talk and act when they pretend that they’re gay; picture that going on screen for 90 minutes.  Both Culkin & Green’s characters were based off of two gay club promoters in New York in the 1990’s, and they just overplayed and stereotyped the hell of their roles, and it’s just bad.  I like Culkin & Green in films where they play a wise cracking supporting character, but the two of them as leading actors are just obnoxious and un-entertaining.

5.)    I don’t know how “Burn After Reading” ends
Yep, still don't know :)

This is probably my most embarrassing confession, but yeah, I really don’t know how “Burn After Reading Ends”.  I saw this film when it came out in theaters with a few of my friends, and when the film got to the part where George Clooney’s character found Brad Pitt’s character hiding in the closet and shot him in the head made me jump in my seat and shout Holy Crap!  It wasn’t like a bullet just entered Pitt’s head and left a small hole on his forehead; his head freaking exploded!  I don’t know why but I was surprised and in disbelief of what I saw on the big screen, but that’s all me and my friends could talk about for the rest of the film.  I actually remember a lot of people in the theatre getting mad at me and my friends because we just rambled on and on about how Brad Pitt’s head exploded on screen.  We rambled on about it for so long that we totally missed the ending of the film.  Once the credits started rolling and the lights came back on, we all just sat their wondering how we missed the ending of the film, and of course we never bothered to ask anyone in the theatre how the movie ended because we weren’t sure how made som of the people sitting near us had gotten, and for some reason or another I have never gotten around to watching it on DVD.  Part of me wants to find out what happened in the end, but then there’s the strange part of me, that likes how I don’t know how the movie ends because it just contributes to the mystery of the film.

Well there you Have it: 5 Actual Confessions of a Film Junkie.  I hope you all enjoyed them and maybe learned something’s about me.  Maybe if I can think up 5 new things, I’ll do an editon of “5 More Actual Confessions of a Film Junkie”?  Until Next time, Take Care. J

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