Confessions of a Film Junkie: 5 Reasons why “Teen Witch” is the worst movie you could ever let your children watch
By: Brian Cotnoir
|It made my brain bleed!|
1.) There are No REAL Witches in the Film
|The closest thing to Witch we get in the film|
2.) There are A TON of random and pointless scenes in this film.
3.) This film is just insulting to Human intelligence
“Teen Witch” has horrible dialogue, countless unrealistic scenarios, and is totally un-relatable to teenagers of any generation. That was a big theme with this film was that the people watching this film (particularly the females) were supposed to be able to relate to our main character, but everything that happens to Louise is so over-the-top and overplayed that I don’t think anybody can relate to it. Is there any teenage girl who can honestly say that not a single person showed up to their 16th birthday party, or had parents that were so out of touch they made you wear elderly person clothes to school, or had a teacher who read an entry from her private diary aloud to the entire class? The way teachers are portrayed in the film range from completely out of touch to just plain cruel. This film is like a 3rd graders interpretation of what High School life is like. “Teen Witch” is so stupid and unrealistic that I’m sure it’s what caused Bert V. Royal to have the wet-dream that inspired him to write “Easy A”. I honestly feel insulted at some points watching this film. I feel that “Teen Witch” is to white suburbia what “Leprechaun in Da Hood” is to the black inner city, it’s just so stereotypical and ridiculous.
4.) “Teen Witch” teaches girls selfishness, vanity, and petty jealousy
|Louise is a terrible role model in this film!|
5.) THE MORONIC WHITE RAP GROUP
So remember how earlier in this review I said there were a ton of pointless random musical numbers, well half of those numbers are dominated by this trio of white rappers that make Vanilla Ice look like Dr. Dre! This is probably the earliest known version of the “Wigger” and in my opinion these three boy-band rejects are the worst part of this film, and saying that you’re the worst part of one of the worst films means you’ve got to be pretty fucking horrible: Don’t Believe me? Just watch the Video Below and watch the horrors that ensue!